O, cruel fate! The Lord hath taken Howard Zinn and JD Salinger from us, all in a 24 hour period. This is worse than when the Lord hath taken away Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett in the same day back in June 2009.
This is all very sad. Yes, yes, people loved Catcher in the Rye, but if I wanted to read something about self-loathing, depression, and angst, I'd go back and read my livejournal entries from when I was 16. Mark David Chapman, the man who murdered John Lennon, told the world that people would understand how he felt if only they readCatcher.
Howard Zinn, a smart man indeed, he will be missed by many. I never read his book(s), but I suppose, like everyone else, that I will "some day."
But, can you imagine a world without RL Stine? Mother fucking Goosebumps, dude. You can't mess with that. I can't think of a more influential author than RL Stine, except maybe Dan Brown, but he only influenced me to puke a little.
Look at this amazing man:
Do you think "RL" stands for "Really Lovely?"
Robert Lawrence Stine has written so many more books than Howard Zinn and JD Salinger - combined. So who's more prolific?
I'm getting sick of so-called clever shirts. Some are okay, a few are really funny, but most are not really that funny. I came across a shirt today and was like, wow, this has gone too far. Here is what I saw:
How insulting is that? A freaking Windows Paint drawing for $19.97 before tax? No, thanks!
Between pseudo-cute shirts and pseudo-funny pun shirts, I made my own shirt. I'm going to submit it to the site and maybe I'll make a thousand dollars.
I'm not a huge fan of beer, but I have one every now and then. In the summertime, I may have a Corona, but not until I've slammed a slice of lime into the bottle with my thumb.
Well, not every corona ought to have a lime in it. The Swedish Association for Sexuality Education has recently renamed the hymen, now calling it the "vaginal corona." The SASE purports that calling it the "vaginal corona" instead may help dispel several myths about virginity and the female reproductive system.
Well, the SASE has also helped to dispel another myth: Coronas should have limes in them. Not here, not my corona. As the feminist saying goes, "Keep Your Limes Off My Body."
What could possibly make cooking shows more interesting? I'll tell ya: adding your hip hop entourage around you in the kitchen. It's like The Galloping Gourment meets MTV Cribs.
Walking around my lovely neighborhood the other day, I saw these signs on a fish tank inside of Nana, a pan-Asian restaurant.
Does anyone else find this sort of bizarre? How do fish take vacations? How did the owners of the restaurant first realize that their fish were on vacation, and then realize that they made a mistake, and instead their fish have gone back to their country?
What can the owners tell me about this parrot fish?
Who says there aren't new jobs being created during this recession? Probably people who aren't into toilet paper. Well, my friends, maybe it's time to start liking the TP. Check out this new job description put out by Charmin:
Yesterday, America stood still as they watched a UFO-like hot air balloon floating up in the sky, allegedly carrying 6-year-old Falcon Heene 10,000 feet above the ground. But, phew! Thank the good lord.. after a few hours of panic, it turns out Falcon was hiding out in his attic. Because really, when a boy is missing, you don't look in their house-- you look in their parents' hot air balloon.
The Heene family, known for being storm chasers, appeared on Larry King Live last night to tell their story. Check out the clip below. At the 40-second mark, Falcon says, "We did this for the show." What show? Like, the publicity stunt show?
And then, following this lie, you hear the ultimate sound of nervousness: a fart.
Woo! I wonder what Falcon was eating up in the attic, because he totally let one go.
Not convinced? Well, look, another sign of nervousness: vomitting. Earlier this morning, on Good Morning America, Falcon just totally pukes all over his dad. Fast-forward to the 5:50 mark.:
So, what do you think? I think it was all a publicity stunt. Why? Well, the family has appeared on Wife Swap... twice. And, the Falcon Brothers do have a promising hip hop career:
