Ah... New York newspapers tabloids strike again!

Just a few days after making this post about sensationalist headlines regarding Osama bin Laden, here's another couple for your entertainment:

Keep it classy, America!!!

I'm so glad the US Navy SEALs raided Osama's home, because then how would we know that he couldn't get it up?

Although I am sick of the service changes on the NYC's train system, this seems a bit harsh.

What exactly is foolish about this?

I signed in to my Twitter account today to encourage my followers to sign this petition to end racial profiling in Georgia. The passage of HB 87 is similar to Arizona's SB 1070, which allows law enforcement officials to check people's "papers." Gosh, this reminds me of something... can't quite put my finger on it.

Anyway, after tweeting about this new bill and the petition to get it vetoed, I thought, "Perhaps #HB87 is a trending topic." But it isn't, folks. The 3rd most popular topic right now is Hard Nipples. At least I have 4 new friends to follow! I have so much faith in humanity.

Well, hey. While we're at it, why don't you follow @nontrending topics? I think you'll learn a lot.

Best supper EVER!!!

I ordered some breakfast today which included some Heinz tomato packets. I was surprised to see these pictures:

A bottle of ketchup and tomatoes on a rollercoaster; a pickle and a bottle of ketchup on the red carpet, with a french fry paparazzo.

The tag line for The Heinz Ketchup Creativity™ Contest is "12 kids. Millions of Heinz® Ketchup packets. Pride beyond measure." Gross! Although those drawings are pretty awesome.

More information on how children are being coaxed into eating more high fructose corn syrup can be found here. 

I love peanut butter. If I had to choose only one food to snack on, it would most certainly be this delicious spread. Picture me: sitting on top of a wooden pole, with my face deep in a jar of peanut butter.

Oh wait, that's not me, that's a raccoon.

This past weekend, "Skippy" the raccoon finally offered something interesting and not racist about Long Island. This lil rodent was found sitting on top of a telephone pole with his head stuck in a jar of peanut butter. He sat there for about 8 hours until some people finally figured out that they could remove the poor guy from his peanut buttery trap.

George Washington Carver would be proud.

I wrote you a poem. It's inspired by recent Charlie Sheen quotes.
 

Adonis DNA

A different Heart,
A different Brain.
I've got tiger blood and Adonis DNA.
I've got the magic.
I've got the poetry in my fingertips,
Deep beneath my nailbeds.
I'm a total bitchin' rock star from Mars.

See, I cured all my maladies
With my brain, with my mind.

Winning, anyone?
Anyone?
Winning
Rhymes with
Winning. Anyone?
Winning.

See, I don't live in the middle anymore
that's where you get slaughtered
that's where you get embarrassed from the prom queen
Warlock prom queen
And I said to her,
"I'm not bipolar
I'm bi-wining.
Can't is the cancer of happen."

I'm flying high tonight.
I'm an F-18.
I will destroy you in the air.
I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.

A different Heart,
A different Brain.
I've got tiger blood and Adonis DNA.

NSFW? Who cares, dude. How about NSFTR (Not Safe For Train Rides)? Because I got all three of these results from this iPhone game while I was crammed next to a disgruntled passenger... the kind of person who stares at your phone the entire train ride.
 

I really like word games. Apparently, I find all the best words.